“I could have been a famous singer if I had someone else’s voice, but failure’s always sounded better. Let’s f*ck it up boys, make some noise!” – ‘Road to Joy’ by Bright Eyes
When I hear the above lyrics, it is a reminder to me that even when things aren’t going the way you may have expected or thought…they can still be great, amazing, and fun. For me, this rings true around parenting. It’s not always going to go according to plan, but that by no means that it isn’t an amazing experience. It’s a reminder that while I may have my doubts about how I’m doing and may not always be perfect, the love I have my son speaks volumes to him.
For me, the parent I thought I would be and the one I am came to be two different people. I thought I would be laid back, having things come easy as the little guy learned and grew. What I’ve learned is that I’m pretty high strung and worry all the time about his development and growth. While these can be good traits to have, I’ve come to realize they can be a hindrance. No child follows a set path as they grow up. If you focus constantly on the fits, tantrums, compare to other kids, you lose focus on the bigger picture. In front of you sits a healthy, happy, loving kid, who is awesome. There isn’t a set path. It’s one step at a time and he’s there, holding your hand along the way.
As we’ve walked down this parenting path together, he has taught me more than I would have ever thought. He doesn’t look at me with doubt in his eyes or that things aren’t perfect. To him, right now, they are. The love of a child changes you…it will break you. Literally, when they pull you down to their level out of the blue, pull you in close, and hug the crap out of you…you know things will be just fine. It’s in those moments that I know that I’m doing something right.
So, in the end, I’m growing and learning as a parent, as we grow together as a family. It isn’t the path laid out in the books…I’ve learned I don’t want it that way. Since when has normal been fun? We’re forging our own way, making our own waves. Perfection is not what I want…happiness and joy are. When you leave your preconceived notions as the door and go along with what life gives you, you will be happier for it.
We’re going to conquer this world and it’s going to be amazing along the way. C’mon kid…let’s make some noise!